Here is a Quranic verse that can guide us toward understanding how to reconcile between people who have enmity and hatred toward each other. First, a little background. During the prophet’s time, Aws and Khazraj were two warring tribes in Yathrib (now called Medina). Approximately, couple of years before their acceptance of Islam the two clans were hard core enemies and had enormous levels of enmity and hatred for each other. During one of the battles (Battle of Bu’ath) both tribes seemed set to annihilate each other.The Aws were supported by the Jewish tribes of Banu Nadir, Banu Qurayza, and by the Arab Bedouins of the Muzayna tribe. The Khazraj on the other hand were supported by other local Bedouin tribes. During the battle, the Aws and their allies initially had to retreat, but then they counterattacked and defeated the Khazraj. During the battle, the leaders of both forces were killed.
However, after their acceptance and embracing of Islam, both tribes developed feelings of strong love and brotherhood for each other. This unity developed despite their history and long-standing traditions of mutual enmity. Sheikh Moududi states in his tafseer (interpretation of the Quran) that to have such severe enmity turn into deep cordiality and brotherhood within a quite short span of time and to have such enemies unite together so closely was doubtlessly beyond the power of any mortal. Were anyone to depend on worldly factors alone, it would have been impossible to bring about such an achievement. The prophet (s) and his companions witnessed this miracle of Allah when the hearts of two warring factions came together with mutual feelings of love, brotherhood, and respect.
Allah says in the Quran:
“and joined their hearts. Had you given away all the riches of the earth you could not have joined their hearts, but it is Allah Who joined their hearts. Indeed He is All-Mighty. All-Wise. (Quran, Surah Al-Anfal: 63).”
The simple yet powerful lesson we can take from this verse is that in cases when there is a need to reconcile between the hearts of two Muslims (or parties), we should sincerely pray to Allah, as He alone can guide our hearts. This tip may seem simplistic but a sincere Dua can bring harmony and love to the hearts of the warring parties more than any other worldly tactic. Whether it’s hatred between two friends, brothers, spouses, or any other family members, a sincere Dua to Allah will surely bring results faster and reconcile between their hearts more than any other ingenious plans.
But this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t use other tactics to help reconcile between people. Both the Quran and the Hadith have stressed the need for the noble act of reconciling between people. Allah says in the Quran:
…So fear Allah and amend that which is between you and obey Allah and His Messenger, if you should be believers.” (Quran, Surah Al-Anfal, Verse 1)
Allah also says:
“There is no good in most of their secret talks save (except) (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in Allah’s Cause), or Maa‘roof (Islamic Monotheism and all the good and righteous deeds which Allah has ordained), or conciliation between mankind; and he who does this, seeking the good Pleasure of Allah, We shall give him a great reward” (Quran, Surah An-Nisaa, 114)
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said the following (part of a ‘hasan’ Hadith as narrated by Abu Dawood, 4273; al-Tirmidhi, 2433.):
“Shall I not tell you something that is better than the status of (voluntary) fasting, prayer and charity?” They said: “Yes.” He said: “Reconciling in a case of discord…”
In another hadith (narrated by Abu Hurairah and mentioned in Sahih Bukhaari, 6065; and Sahih Muslim, 2559, the prophet (peace be upon him) said,
“Do not hate one another, do not envy one another, do not turn away from one another. Be, O slaves of Allah, brothers. It is not permissible for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three days.”
Dua to Reconcile Between People
You can also use the following Dua that the prophet (s) used to help remove feeling of bitterness from our hearts.