Here is one story of a Muslimah.
Salam.. I used to be so inclined to Allah and stay up all night worshipping him and making dua.. i was so attached to islam.. but then my parents started making my life hard by forcing me into a marriage where i got beaten and abused and the divorced and now again my parents control my life too without me having the right to live how i want.. this caused me to lose hope in dua.. and even in my religion.. i have become so distanced from it to the point where i am close to disbelief.. because if my parents don’t follow the religion properly and do not allow me to have my rights that i deserve Islamically and they pick and choose and mould the religion into what suits them then why even follow a religion?
How would you respond to her situation? Include your comments below:
wailaikum assalam,
I read your case and am sorry for your tough situation at home. I sincerely pray that Allah remove your hardships. InShaAllah things will start getting better.
Here are a few comments:
1) First, as Muslims we should never loose hope in Allah. Allah reminds us of this in the Quran that only disbelievers lose hope in Allah. Many of us are put through tests and trials and while it is not easy to bear the burden but as long as we remind ourselves that Allah has mentioned about many pious people and His prophets in the Quran who also endured difficulties. Even Prophet Muhammad was driven away from his hometown and was made to live on the outskirts of the city with an embargo enforced on him and his followers. Yet, they all persevered and the rewards of that perseverance was Allah’s happiness. Ask yourself whether you would want all that you wish for in this life in return for his wrath or would you rather have Allah be happy with you for persevering in hard times?
2) Second, we all need to remind ourselves about the need to be patient. Allah tells us in the Quran about being patient. We can’t complain through our trials and then claim that we were patient. Patience is about being content with Allah’s decree and to hope for His mercy.
3) You never know but relief may be very near. Just stay optimistic because a Muslim is always optimistic. You will notice that being optimistic will have an effect on your overall emotional well being as well.
4) Try speaking to your mother in a rational and kind way and express your concerns. This can be done when she is not in a bad mood so she is more receptive to your concerns. You don’t have to make her sympathetic to your whole story on the first day. Do it one thought and idea at a time so can start seeing what you are going through. Eventually, she may be able to get to your father’s thoughts as well.
5) Make sure you do the following as much as you can as this has a tremendous effect on a person’s quality of life. (1) Stay away from sins (See the article on IqraSense.com on the bad effect of sins as sometimes we are punished for our sins as well. (2) Do a lot of istighfar (100s of times a day whenever you can). (3) Give charity (no matter how little you can and do it with the intention of Allah removing your burdens. (4) Don’t neglect your daily prayers and other obligatory duties toward Allah. (5) Read Quran as much as you can and do use the Dua of Ruqyah. Sometimes, it is people’s eye (‘ain’ or ‘nazar’)and jealousy that triggers bad situations in our lives. You can find plenty of Du’as on Iqrasense for this purpose.
I pray sincerely that Allah remove your burdens and make things easier for you. In fact, I am confident that if you do the above and start coming closer to Allah and keep a positive attitude, things will get much much better. Remember that if you persevere in these hard times by keeping your faith strong in Allah and when you come out of this situation, you will feel very good about yourself and will be proud.
Best regards,
Ma Sha Allah, the comments cover all aspects of Islamic faith. May Allah Grant you His Mercy and help – Aameen!